That One Time I Did A Study Blog Called: Daily Updates from a Daily Man in the Middle of a Downward Spiral But Realized the Power of Friendship with these Ten Easy Steps and Here's How You Can Too. Bunpro and Fortnite Collab When...?

Entry the fifteenth - August 2nd, 2025

It’s a Saturday once again! Can you believe it?

Today was another memorable Japanese learning experience with only 3 reviews destroyed by my sheer willpower alone. I can now just look at reviews and complete them. No typing needed!

Remember when I mentioned I X, formerly Twitter, about two posts ago? Yes, yes controversial platform…but this bothered me a lot.

image

For better or for worse, the little bird is dead and buried. But…what does Bunpro post on Twitter? Is it good? Do they go for spicy political takes? Casual posting of mundanity? Let’s find out!

Immediately, I noticed that Bunpro isn’t verified. I don’t see the checkmark of officialness. How am I supposed to know they pay around $8 a month to be official? Yes, I know it’s linked from the official Bunpro website, but I don’t trust easy! Especially when it’s painfully obvious!!

But look at that, 1,410 followers. That’s a pretty decently-sized neighborhood worth of people following Bunpro. Really puts things into perspective, eh?

With that many followers, surely there’s a ton of engagement, right? (Spoilers, I looked ahead before typing this.)

Instead of emotionally reactive “hot takes” we have…something unique?

Aww, cute! They still use hashtags. But pay no attention to the engagement at the bottom! I will get to that momentarily.

So many posts are just these little content drops teaching Japanese. Which is cool, I suppose. Who…who makes these? I never seen these on the forums or the website proper. There’s little cartoons that look to be taken from some repository.

Clearly there’s effort put into these but look:

The engagement on these posts are ridiculously bad! Despite the effort put into them, which is respectable, there’s something to say where a man posting an image of a soda each day is getting more engagement than this.

There is something so sad about a call to action that is fallen upon deaf ears. You know what? I won’t reply to the Twitter thread, but I will give an example sentence just for you, unknown Bunpro social media poster:

トイレしてる間にドアを開けておいたら、義母に見られて心臓止まりかけたらしい…まじで死にたい。

I encourage you all to come up with your own sentence and make tribute to the social media engagement gods.

Screaming into the void again? I know that feeling all too well. Notice its use of emojis telling us to think. Alas nobody dropped anything in the comments. But I shall drop one more sentence just to pay tribute:

ズボンのチャックが開いていたようだ…会社のかわいい受付さんと話してた時に。見られたかも…?

Who are you, Bunpro social media poster? What’s your day to day like? Hobbies? Favorite food? I would like to know this person and write a minimum 100-page biography on them. Unironically. If I ever get the chance to do so, I will make it a special thread just to give them the kudos they deserve.

Remember to tip your waitresses, everyone!

5 Likes

You made me think of this song with those words :smile_cat:

2 Likes

Impressive strategy skipping n5 and finishing n1, you’re going places.

5 Likes

Entry the sixteenth - August 3rd, 2025

It’s a Sunday once again! Can you believe it?

Today was exactly the same, mind-melting, philosophically-driven Japanese learning experience you’ve all come to know and love by now. Three reviews were obliterated with my mind’s eye and another grammar point bit the dust.

This leaves my body craving for a reward, and I dunno about you, but one of my favorite snacks is Saku Saku Panda.

If you never had these pandas before, then you are missing out. Every single time I go to Japan, I crave just two things: Saku Saku Panda and Mister Donut. Historical or linguistic nonsense? Nah. Authentic sushi or ramen? Throw that in the trash! To me, Mister Donut and those pandas are my world.

Curiously, it’s stylized as “Sakusakupanda” on the bag, which while an accurate translation…is weird to see in English. Let’s check their official webpage just to see if we can find anything interesting.

Going to the company’s official webpage is…Wowzers! That’s one TOUGH GUMMY…but what’s that on the upper-right hand corner?

English you say? But, Cure Dolly sensei told me I would never amount to anything in my Japanese learning life if I stepped outside of my immersion bubble, but Cure Dolly sensei never met a man with an unreasonable sense of curiosity, wit, and dashing good looks. Let’s click to see the English site.

Well, the English site doesn’t look too different, eh?

Maybe all this nonstop immersion 25/8 is causing a bleeding effect where everything seems one of the same.So let’s scroll down just to test out my new superpowers.

When feel ease at home. When chat with your friends. When take a break…

With your heart, 70 pandas.

I think that’s absolutely beautiful. Personally, I love really bad Engrish. Sometimes, it’s unintentionally philosophical.

There are 70 expressive face. you can find the one, matching your feeling.

Which panda is your soul animal? I will choose the rare koala creature that is on one of the faces. Fun fact! Bet you didn’t know that about Sakusakupanda.

Maybe one day I will rant about the majesties of Mister Donut, maybe I will rant about something in a ridiculous amount of precision tomorrow. Truly you never know, and that’s the best part. It’s a mystery for you as it is for me!

Until next time, stay sakusaku, everyone!

5 Likes

Came here for the new panda title and was not disappointed!

5 Likes

I now know of another snack that I have to try! Thank you for your wise recommendation.
Here, I got my family addicted to all kinds of Pocky haha…

4 Likes

Can’t believe you highlighted Shenmue but didn’t tell everyone about the amazing gachapon minigame. One of my favorite games btw.

5 Likes

I typically step out of my immersion hyperbolic time chamber when I read these posts. Sometimes it’s hard to be a Kanji warrior when I’m not binging anime and reading documents from the National Diet Library for fun.

But reading about Saku Saku Panda, worth it.

4 Likes

Entry the seventeenth - August 4th, 2025

It’s a Monday once again! Can you believe it?

Today was ex–Okay, we’re skipping right to the tangent today. You know what really weirds me about Japanese culture? I have to warn you, once you see it, you cannot unsee it. If you wish to stop now, I don’t blame you.

Well, how can I say it without saying it. The Japanese seem to have a mild fascination with, well, this:

You may be thinking to yourself, “Pompompurin is life. Pompompurin is god. What’s weird about that?” And while you are right that this dog is more popular that some religions, look at what I had to censor? Yes, that’s right, his little backside beauty mark.

I noticed this when looking at stickers on LINE that many of them have the beauty mark on them and I started seeing it everywhere for cute Japanese creatures.

I have to ask why?

This started creeping into video games too!

Oh my goodness, not Okami! I love that game. But why? Why must there be such painstaking attention to detail about this area of cute characters?

Stunned, and lost for words, I gathered what little vocabulary I had and asked ChatGPT for any potential culprits for its origin point. One stuck out at me:

Shiri-tantei, eh? Is that the cheese?

image

Well, shucks I guess generative AI fails again, eh? Despite the fact this character looks like a rosey-cheeked Adolf Hitler, this still doesn’t help me answer the question of who started this.

But I realized that it was all Pompompurin all along. I mean, it had to be right? He’s just so proud of it.

I searched high and low for answers until I stumbled across this:

This caused several riots in Japan. Just when you think that one backside beauty mark enamored the Japanese, it was a genetic oddity from a McDonald’s toy that truly did them in.

But once you start seeing it, you can’t unsee it.

Look, it’s in Mario Party 2!

That’s…that’s not even an animal! That’s a bobsled! And then it started spreading! You started --oh god, it found Walmart?

Walmart’s not even Japanese! No, this…everything is falling apart. Let me ask ChatGPT and --oh dear lord, not them too!

This Pompompurin is a trojan horse planted by the Japanese. Enamor the world with a cute dog with a quirky little marking. Then slowly it takes over the world where even multi-billion dollar companies are embracing Pompom’s rule.

Maybe Pompompurin was playing 4D chess while we were all too busy with our reviews to pay attention. Maybe we spent too much time immersing ourselves in mind-numbing Japanese media while this cute Sanrio character plots world domination.

Personally, I have always been a team Pompom kind of guy, so I am okay with it. But I fear. I fear so much for those who are on team Cinnamonroll. May god have mercy on their souls.

Be sure to check under your beds, everyone!

8 Likes

Entry the eighteenth - August 5th, 2025

It’s a Tuesday once again! Can you believe it?

Today was a crazy and magical journey into the world of Japanese learning. The reviews put up a struggle, but after a tense fight, I used my blade (I am one with the blade, btw) to vanquish five reviews. Once it was known the reviews perished during the onslaught, a GRAMMAR POINT appeared before me. I stared into its soul and immediately found its weakness.

With the power of my ancestors locked away in my right arm, I unleashed 10% of my power and that brings me closer to collecting all the JLPT balls. I am told once I collect all five, I am granted eternal happiness and $10,000 in cash.

This battle was exhausting. So of course it led me to thinking about relaxing, potentially even mind-numbing methods of cooling off. This led me to thinking about a certain game developer I had such a strong fondness for that you don’t really see anymore.

I bring to you:

PopCap Games! Now that was a mighty brave developer before it traded its soul to the dark shogunate in exchange for paltry monetary gains.

This developer was firing on all cylinders! They were the masters of making games with simple-to-learn mechanics but with deep gameplay mixed in with charm oozing out of every orifice. OOZES! This combination led them to having mainstream success with the casuals and some rather fun experiences.

I truly struggle to think about how many other developers constantly made new IPs with such consistently high quality and charm. Sure you have Double Fine (but I think their games play like poo, but don’t tell Tim Schafer that. I wouldn’t dare to hurt that man.)

But…Pop Cap just stopped being interesting! It’s so sad. I loved Plants Vs. Zombies, Peggle, and even that darn Zuma game! A shame that a developer with so much creativity and charm got churned away into a brand of seemingly irrelevancy.

You know that a developer is special when each intro movie showing the company logo is unique. Totally unnecessary but it’s a secret coded message that tells to me that the devs care.

I always check a company from top to bottom to see if there’s a soul. There’s something to it when you can tell if the development team is having fun. Culture is important. Fun culture leads to a fun work environment, which leads to (hopefully) fun games!

Do yourselves a favor, everyone. Have an ice cream sandwich, go onto the app store on your device of preference, and just observe the games on the platform.

Things didn’t used to be this way. But maybe things can change if we embrace silliness and charm…and fart jokes.

Be kind and rewind, everyone!

4 Likes

image

I just noticed your streak which might just make you the oldest person in existence. It’s no wonder you can pass N1 in one fell swoop, but take your time with N5.

That means you lived through the era when we only had learning tapes, books, and dictionaries. When Japanese content was rare, and educational materials lackluster. When the dawn of a new era came with Anki revolutionizing flashcards. Then the Ajatt cult enlightenment. To the birth of Bunpro and Migaku. To where we are now with the gamification of language learning and 20 something language grifting influencers who became fluent in a week, and you can too.

Oh wait, I went through all those things. Oh god, how old am I?

4 Likes

Entry the nineteenth - August 6th, 2025

It’s a Wednesday once again! Can you believe it?

Today blah blah blah, I -INSERT REVIEW COUNT- and backflips, explosions, and various shenanigans. I whispered to the Bunpro gods and they whispered back in a language I couldn’t understand. Symbols from a forgotten time, forgotten place. I close my eyes and see things indescribable by my meager brain’s comprehension. Let me tell you a tale.

Candy. Candy never changes.

In the year 1979, my great great grandfather was a soldier during the great Meiji-sponsored candy wars in Japan.

He held his box of Kinoko no yama closely wondering if he will ever taste it again. It was that time when the separatists of Takenoko no sato destroyed his village and the age of the chocolate mushroom changed from a prosperous people to a tiny minority.

Yes, that’s right. Sit down everyone, it’s time I told you about the great candy wars of Japan.

These candy wars are serious business. It has ended friendships, lives, and even put my own relationship in jeopardy. Yes, sweetie, if you read this, I am calling you out and telling you that your opinion is wrong.

We have two contenders: The absolutely and amazing Takenoko no Sato (たけのこの里) and the disgusting and potentially smelly Kinoko no Yama (きのこの山). Hopefully by the time you read this, you will understand why those mushrooms are disgusting and horrible.

From what I know of Japanese people, beauty and balance plays an important role in everyday life. Look at the beautiful bamboo shoots and marvel at how it displays elegance only seen from Japanese candies.

Wow, look at that. Puts you to tears, right? You see, mushrooms. They grow in poo. That’s not beautiful nor elegant. In fact, I would argue that’s gross. Also, notice the shape of the mushrooms. There’s no balance at all.

image

Gross! You have something that grows in questionable environments plus it’s top heavy. I am not telling you that if you like this candy you have the wrong opinion, I am telling you if you like this candy, I truly wish you the best in recovery from faulty taste buds.

If you think that I am exaggerating about this candy war, there’s even a Wikipedia page about it!

My favorite part is this paragraph:

Conflict runs deep in modern Japan. Even though they celebrate peace, there’s still wounds from those lost in the great candy war.

This video is very NSFW and might be traumatizing as you’re witnessing true candy-on-candy violence. If you have a weak stomach, you may wish to stop entirely.

But in my deepest and sincerest opinion, the best candy ever made by man is without a doubt Saku Saku Panda, but pandas are peace. They are silent observers. When the candy wars are over, it’s the pandas that shall inherit the Earth.

Candy, candy never changes, everyone.

6 Likes

Not to get too serious on your not so serious thread but it is obvious that たけのこ are better. The quality of chocolate is pretty bad so the best part of these snacks is the 食感, meaning that the far more crunchy たけのこ will win every time. Even the occasional matcha flavoured きのこ are pretty poor in the flavour department.

Anyway, we all must choose a side, as evidenced below.

(Transcription for Yomitan lovers)

先日彼女とデート中彼女に「きのこの山とたけのこの里」どっち派?と聞かれました。 ので、マジで本心で何も考えず僕は「どっちでも無いなぁ。2つとも美味しいし、きのこ買ったら次たけのこって感じやから。強いて言うならどっちも好きやな!」と言いました。

すると彼女がイライラした様子で「どっちか決めて!どちらかというとどっちが好きなん!?」と急かしてきました。

何故ですか??笑

僕はその質問に関しては誰に聞かれても良いように決めて練習していたぐらいなのに。。

7 Likes

Entry the twentieth - August 7th, 2025

It’s a Thursday once again! Can you believe it?

Today I did two --wait, just two reviews? …seriously? Ahem, yes, two reviews were accomplished today, and I didn’t even know it! That really shows that the power of Japanese fluency is already coursing through my veins.

@Asher mentioned the gachapon elements in Shenmue a few days prior and it led me to thinking about that deeper than a normal person thought possible.

It reminded me of the last time I went to Japan. I was obsessed with these little proto-loot boxes.

But, as predicted, not the way you probably thought.

I want you to look at this:

That’s right, if you so desired, you can have entrance gate turnstile toys for 300 yen each! Or, if you look to your left, you can have one of four different barcode scanners for 400 yen each.

Now, I thought about this for a while --why on God’s green Earth would anyone want to buy this?

Then…I realized something…I would be the one who would buy this! Why would I buy it? Because I am a simple man who would laugh really hard telling people a wonderful tale over the existence of entrance gate turnstile toys and how I would be the proud owner of one.

But that’s just me. Certainly there is a trend, an audience beyond just me wanting to buy things for the lulz.

Here’s another one:

Thats right, your eyes shan’t deceive you. This is a Denny’s capsule machine! I don’t even like Denny’s, I can’t imagine anyone with their head screwed on straight would pay 400 yen for a Denny’s capsule toy.

But that’s the magic behind it. That’s a story I want to know. Someone out there is probably a huge Denny’s otaku or an entrance gate turnstile otaku. I would love to know why they feel such a way to drop approximately $3 USD on a toy that is more or less a meme to my monkey brain.

Each time I see one of these curious machines in Japan, I will pay closer attention and observe each one. See how many toys are left, see if I can find anything on X, formerly Twitter, if there’s any mention of its existence.

Consumerism, in excess, can be vapid, meaningless and even harmful. But even God’s lowliest of creatures, the gachapon, we can still learn about ourselves.

Why did I spend my entire allowance in Shenmue for figures that do…well, nothing in the game?

Maybe I just wanted to live out a fantasy where Sonic the Hedgehog existed in Japan five years before he came out. Maybe I just think they’re neat!

Spend all your money frivolously, everyone!

3 Likes

Entry the twenty-first - August 8th, 2025

It’s a Friday once again! Can you believe it?

In addition to three grammar reviews, I started fooling around with Bunpro’s vocabulary decks. Maybe something interesting will come of it. But as of now, grammar is the main villain in this story arc! Maybe there will be a tournament arc between the various points of Japanese learning? Maybe one day I will collect all five of the JLPT balls.

I think I will need a JLPT ball radar because I have quite a journey before I reach the first one.

Speaking of anime tropes, I bought the game Enchanted Arms a few years ago and recently finished it. It was quite a game! You have wonderful creatures such as this:

And fun fact! This game has an early model of the The Vanguard Demon from Demon’s Souls as a character you can summon/fight with. Boy, those Japanese sure love reusing assets!

But I didn’t want to talk about Enchanted Arms, you see --I wanted to chat about what came in the box of my game. I purchased this game used from eBay. Now, as a curious creature, I love to open the box and see the contents --usually it’s just manuals and on rare occasions the receipt/cheat codes left behind by the previous owner.

This time, I received something extra curious in my box of Enchanted Arms.

This is…interesting and NOT in Japanese, so sadly I cannot attempt to read this. But it looks like it’s in French and the card is in German. All of this stuffed into my North American box of Enchanted Arms! What a well traveled game box, eh?

Now, I put this through ChatGPT 5 (Wow a new model!) and this is what it gave me:

“Dear Sébastien,
I always think a lot, a lot about you! And when I saw this card, it was exactly what I wanted to wish you!
Confidence in yourself! You are surrounded by the affectionate thoughts of the whole family who love you very much!! Yes indeed!!
Big kisses from Grandma, and may God keep you!”

This deeply saddens me! Was this game a gift to Sébastien from gram gram? Did Sébastien not like the game and sell it on eBay? Is this even the first owner of this game?

It is a mystery! I feel it is my duty to give Sébastien back his card…not the game tho, it’s mine, so I struggled to find out anything that I can use to identify this man. The other side of the card had no personal identifying material, so I turned to eBay to help me out.

I looked at the seller name for Enchanted Arms that I purchased years ago and searched online to find anything that I could that could link to Sébastien to give him grammy’s card.

Enchanted Arms, you see, released on August 29, 2006 in the US. This might’ve been a present to Sébastien nearly twenty years ago. I fear that if that is the case, grams may have crossed the rainbow bridge.

I searched high and low for Sébastien’s information based on what little I had to go on, and sadly nothing.

Sébastien, by any chance you are learning Japanese and you are reading a thread that is 40+ posts deep, I have your grandmother’s card and it’s in safe hands. I’ve cherished it deeply like you would have while it awaits its return to its proper owner.

I will send this to you at no cost to ensure that you have this back in your possession.

Also, uh, thanks for Enchanted Arms. It’s kinda a dumb game with shounen anime tropes. There’s a character in the game who is wildly a product of its time, so much so that my next image of it will be in a spoiler tag to shield the eyes of the most sensitive of readers:

Hilarious and potentially outdated character trope below!


If you can read this, you probably got it, right? I won’t translate it, but if you know, you know!

All in all, I would give Enchanted Arms an 11 out of 17 hats. It has decent gameplay saved only by a random French-speaking grandmother.

Be brave, everyone!

4 Likes

Half-way through, I was expecting some dragon candy to appear :see_no_evil: I think I watched my husband play Skyrim too many times to count.

2 Likes

Entry the twenty-second - August 9th, 2025

It’s a Saturday once again! Can you believe it?

Today was a monumental day for my Japanese reviews and overall Japanese progress. Five reviews. They underestimated my power level… and paid the price. One grammar point. The prophecy spoke of this, the day I would defeat a grammar point just by the power of friendship.

But also, I decided to work on a new Vocab deck for Bunpro! I took a look at the N5 vocab list and was largely disappointed by how at odds it is for users who know zero Japanese and are learning the grammar and vocab for the first time.

Essentially, this deck introduces vocab as you see it in the grammar lessons and the example sentences.

Nooooow, I know Bunpro can be sneaky and change the example sentences on a whim, so think of this as a proof of concept. I want to finish at least all vocab seen in N5 grammar points, and I am about halfway there.

It would be interesting to see how much N5 vocab is in this deck when you finish the N5 grammar, as if there is at least 90% overlap, it may be worth looking into for the Bunpro team.

Here’s a link to those that are interested (note, I may make decks that are grouped by JLPT level in the future): Decks out for vocab learning

Now for something tangentially related!

I learned about something utterly fascinating today called Shouryuuma (精霊馬).

“What on Earth is that?! This wasn’t in any of my manga training!” Now, settle down theoretical person. This is a Buddhist thing where families honor the spirits of their ancestors…but most importantly, there’s this weird thing that I noticed that I thought was cool:

IMG_4793

Wow! What is that? Those, my friends, are Japanese horses and oxen. Am I being sliiiiightly misleading? Possibly, but these little creatures are offered to the spirits of gram gram… I am not exactly sure why, but I prefer to let my imagination fill in the gaps. Let’s go on a journey.

Behold! A pale…green horse?

Imagine the spirit realm! A world beyond our comprehension. On occasion, there is a bridge between their world and ours.

You, yes you, are a young child in modern Japan. One day, you are visited by the spirit of your ancestor from 1000 years ago. Your ancestor teaches you about life, harmony and wisdom. You pay close attention and absorb each word the kind spirit says.

The spirit asks merely in return to provide a great horse to provide to him in the spirit realm. You wish to honor the noble spirit, and you get to work.

When the time comes, you bring your animal, the most firm and ripe eggplant you could find. The legs are adorned with the sturdiest toothpicks money could buy. You lay the humble creature to journey to the spirit realm where your ancestor awaits.

A world…beyond comprehension? Your ancestor…he’s in trouble and has been for a while. Horse races are a common issue among the spirits and his gambling debts are piling up.

You see, he only buttered you up to get you to make a great horse so he can pay off his debts. That stuff about love, kindness, and respecting your elders? All garbage. Pointless platitudes to get you to do his bidding.

The races are about to start, and your animal is about to appear at the starting gate. Your ancestor feels confident. You were a good child after all, you listened and made the best offering you could. Much better than that neighbor kid’s.

There’s…just a slight problem. That eggplant? I didn’t mention this, but that resembles an ox. Uh, oops? Maybe your ancestor should’ve spelled out the need for a cucumber. Oh well, maybe in another life.

The race starts and the horses are off! But…yours, casually grazing as best an eggplant could. Your ancestor felt as if he died --er, well a second time.

That’s it, his last chance. As the crowds clear from the arena, he is greeted by spirit Yakuza that would humbly like to meet his spirit kneecaps…

Be sure not to listen to your elders, everyone!

4 Likes

Entry the twenty-third - August 10th, 2025

It’s a Sunday once again! Can you believe it?

Today I added more N5 vocab to my First Principle vocab deck and along the way, I noticed that…well, the vocab is hmm, half baked? Let’s be kind and go with that!

As I am entering the vocab into this deck, I am testing it to see how Japanese learners going from zero would fare, and you would be SHOCKED by the results.

Well, perhaps not, but my finding is that the onboarding process is grosser than the smell of Natto.

From a pedagogical standpoint, I find it hard to convince me that filling in the blank using context sentences for beginners is the right way to approach this. Warning gross light mode ahead!

Look at this sentence. You probably got it right instantly. Book is highlighted in red and the rest of the sentence? Easy peasy!

But for someone who is just learning Japanese and has never even seen ten Japanese words out in the wild, this is overwhelming! They don’t know most of this sentence!

This is the second vocab word they are learning using the N5 Vocab deck.

Context-based learning has merit and is useful for the upper-beginner/intermediate phase of learning. But Bunpro’s default method of learning is quite horrible for new learners.

BUT Bunpro has a fix…well, kinda. You see, it’s messy and unreliable.

In my First Principle deck, I added a nice all-cap disclaimer in the description: “FOR NEW JAPANESE LEARNERS: Go to Settings → Reviews. Scroll down until you see the setting “Default Vocab Review Type”. For Question Type, select: Translate. For Answer Type, select: Reveal & Grade.”

Essentially what this does is recommends new learners to go into the settings and change the vocab to give you a Japanese word and use the trusty ol’ honor system to judge if you got it right or not.

Ideally it would look like this (warning gross light mode ahead, again!):

But in reality, its reliability is…well, poo. I updated the vocab settings to reflect such, but when adding new vocab or reviewing some still reflect this:

At least I don’t have to type the answer! But this is bad and doesn’t reflect what settings were changed.

Jonathan Blow, despite being a cranky and miserly old programmer, has a lot of wisdom on the topic of teaching new players how games work. But…games and learning apps aren’t the same!..right?

Well, shockingly enough, there’s a great amount of overlap between the two.

Blow’s take, based on the numerous talks and presentations he has given through the years, is that complexity can naturally arise from mastering simple fundamentals. Now, how does that reflect on what I am saying? Well, if I learn the word for book, let me test my knowledge on book. Give me context for what I know for book and everything else I already know.

The “Reveal & Grade” setting should be default for those who choose zero Japanese as their baseline for learning Japanese. Maybe as their knowledge and experience grows that can change into context-based learning and beyond.

Overall, I think the current setting and UX for Bunpro’s site for absolutely new Japanese learners is bad. Not in an exaggeration bad, but in terms of a lacking a core philosophy and caring for new learners kind of bad.

It’s so bad, that I would completely overhaul the system and rethink the model from scratch.

If you may recall from a bunch of posts ago, I did a deep dive on the referral system and then one on the onboarding process for new users. I tapped out like a chump! So embarrassing.

Sadly, I did that intentionally as if I kept going the way I analyze games, I would’ve torn this to shreds, which wouldn’t have been fun to read as I would’ve repeated myself a lot, and I think the overall point was made early on: it’s bad.

I will merely say this: If you need to give paragraphs of text to the user of the app or player of a game, you have offloaded the UX/designer’s job onto that user/player. That’s really, really bad.

I was playing Resonance Of Fate last week. If you haven’t played it, please do so, it’s weird. In fact, here’s a funny video with Nolan North in it as a palette cleanser:

Great, eh? The combat is quite quirky too! You can play it as a typical turn-based RPG, but you’re doing a great disservice as it’s quite a chaotic and deep game.

…but sadly that beauty in the complexity is hidden in dozens of pages of tutorial text. You have to not only read a ton of text, but you have to remember what all of that does and it sucks! Learning from doing is beauty. Learning from reading is boring.

The onboarding process for Bunpro has me reading paragraphs of text, needing to juggle all of that, and the process can and should be eliminated in favor of a user-centric philosophy.

Think of the user in Bunpro as the main character of the story the Bunpro developers are telling. The onus is on Bunpro to make that story as interesting and engaging as possible. Currently, at least for new users, it fails completely on that goal and it deeply saddens me.

It’s very easy to pay attention to what users on this forum are saying. We are the survivors and we have data points that can be valuable. But from what I have learned through my experience in data science is that the best data is usually the data you don’t see.

What do the kids call this? Survivorship bias! Did you ever see the plane picture? Oh, boy, if you haven’t, I will show you the plane picture:

To understand the context of the classic plane picture, Wikipedia sensei has you covered.

Perhaps understanding the desires and feelings of those who haven’t made it very far in their Japanese journey is worth exploring.

Gosh, this was a rant, eh? Hardly any jokes, but that Resonance of Fate video? That was something. Bunker busters? Did that put a smile on your face and make your eyes roll at the same time? Me too!

Anyway, food for thought for a post deep in a thread where I ramble a lot.

Appreciate raisins, everyone!

4 Likes

Entry the twenty-fourth - August 11th, 2025

It’s a Monday once again! Can you believe it?

The First Principle deck now has all of the N5 vocab in the order in which you see them. Here’s some interesting data from using one of my good ol’ sockpuppet accounts.

This…doesn’t look impressive, right? I mean, this deck has less than half of the total N5 vocab than the official Bunpro deck! Well, that’s a valid comment.

When perusing through the N5 vocab deck from Bunpro, I noticed considerable overlap of them using grammar words and variations of words used in the First Principle deck.

After a painstaking amount of time comparing each word to this deck, I estimated that, if excluding redundancies and filler words, that the First Principle deck has about 750-800 out of the 1100 words from the Bunpro vocab deck.

What does this mean? Well, if Bunpro took a more user-focused take on learning, that they can use a First Principle approach to vocab learning and use the missing words from the First Principle deck as additional example sentences in N5 grammar.

That would be a pragmatic approach that would work, but ultimately I think it would be a band-aid but an approach that would correct the ship for new Japanese learners in the long term.

If I have time, I could consider making an N4 variant of the First Principle deck, but it was of great importance that newbies can get a better foothold on learning Japanese without being overwhelmed.

Japanese is hard!

Anyway, that’s all for today, hopefully my Japanese focus will be more minimal tomorrow, as admittedly, it was a pain in the ass making this deck as I had to go through every single word through every single sentence and use the Bunpro vocab search (btw, you guys should just copy how jisho.org handles search).

Hopefully tomorrow will be mundane!

Stay sane, everyone!

5 Likes

Entry the twenty-fifth - August 12th, 2025

It’s a …Tuesday…once again? …I don’t believe it.

I am cheating a bit! Today is still Monday, but I am posting this early because sometimes it’s okay to break the rules.

Boy howdy, those last two posts were wild, eh? Writing rants are usually the least fun for me to write! Needs a high joke to ramble ratio and that was lacking in both!

To make up this grievance to you all, I will share with you something that is totally not a waste of your time.

I have to warn you, this is unbelievably long and uses naughty language on occasion. As such, posting it blindly would be…unwise.

Thus it’s in a spoiler tag. It may take an hour or two to read when all the pieces are together. You will not learn anything about Japanese language, but you may learn about the power of friendship along the way.

Behold! A Profound Waste of Time Part 1

Oh, boy! Lost Planet, now that’s a Capcom franchise that is dead and buried for at least ten years. Anyone remember that? No, well that’s fine and dandy. I am going through Lost Planet 1 for the first time since 2009, or so.

While waiting for this Xbox download to finish, I suppose I can write up a brief summary of my experience with it. So, I have only played Lost Planet 1 and 2. I have the third game along with the weird Japanese-exclusive spin-off “EX Troopers”, but I don’t have much experience, nostalgia, or really sentimentality for this game at all.

I remember that each game, probably unintentionally, is quite different from the last. But for this, I am playing just basic Lost Planet.

But this is a bit confusing, as Lost Planet, at least on Xbox, has two SKUs. We have vanilla Lost Planet, then we have Lost Planet: Colonies Edition. Remember how Capcom used to love re-selling and repackaging their games with little bonuses? Well, Lost Planet got that treatment.

If memory serves correctly, you cannot buy the vanilla version off the marketplace, just Colonies, which is a bit odd as both are backwards compatible.

Actually, I had a bit of an issue getting the Colonies edition of Lost Planet, as I believe that was only relegated to the “Platinum Hits” version of the game, but whenever I went to Game Stops in the mid 2010s, they only had vanilla Lost Planet. Even when I got the Colonies box, they would sneak in the vanilla disc. It wasn’t until a few years ago, I had enough of this nonsense, so I decided to go on eBay and purchase it myself. I was extra paranoid and made sure the disc and box matched the Colonies Edition.

Now here I am with my empire of Lost Planet games…well, okay, it’s just five games in total, one being a re-release with bonus features, but I love being dramatic.

So let’s just take a look at the parameters for this playthrough.

This has multiplayer and I will not be touching that. I understand and realize that there was a decent following of this game’s multiplayer, but due to the age and the fact there are 2 SKUs fragmenting the player base, it’s safe to assume it’s dead. Also, I am a miserly man and didn’t renew my Xbox subscription. So I don’t even think I can check the lobbies or leaderboards unless I renew that.

So, with that being said, I think focusing on the single player portions would be more of my jam.

If I ever do decide to play Lost Planet 2, that would be a bit harder, as I think that game centered itself around its multiplayer even with its solo modes. But one thing at a time. The download is finished and Lost Planet: Not Colonies Edition awaits!

Okay, whenever I play these pesky games, I always try to see how much friction there is with the intro title cards. There were four intro title cards, three of which couldn’t be skipped but the others could. It looks like the timer was about four seconds per card, so about twelve seconds before we can get to the main menu screen.

I am not sure why only one of which could be skipped, huh. Is it a legal thing? I remember Jon Blow talking about something like this, but I wish I remembered the details.

After waiting a period of a few minutes, an attract video started playing. It was short, showcasing the vibe, enemies, and generalities of the game. I always pondered why relatively modern games still did that as it seems a bit out of place.

Below the press start shows “Character Wayne by Lee Byung Hun / FANTOM Co., LTD”. Sounds like Capcom hired their own Tetsuya Nomura to design the main character…at least, I think Wayne is the main character. Hold on a sec, I am gonna do a bit of digging on Mr. Hun.

Boy was I wrong! Turns out that Mr. Hun is a pretty famous actor and Wayne was modeled after him. According to IMDB, Josh Keaton was the voice actor. It definitely sounds like a Commander Shepard ordeal. Odd, as his name or company he was associated with was not on the intro title. Perhaps Korean companies are a bit anal with those details.

Can we start the game now?

NO we cannot have fun, what even is that? We’re looking at the menu! Okay, the menu for Lost Planet is simultaneously interesting and uninteresting. We have a live background showing a video of the world. Maybe it changes depending on which mission we are playing? Who knows!

Judging from the compression artifacts, it doesn’t seem to be playing in-engine, so just a video of a camera flying through a landscape.

It seems to cycle through various videos one showing a desolate…highway with an unmarked facility? Okay. Next is a video featuring the little dudes. I forget their name, but they are in a cave or hive or something…I know, painfully exciting.

Is it okay if I go through the various options in the menu and randomly interject if there’s a new video in the menu? I think I shall.

As soon as I said that a third video started. Looks like a hentai creature emerging from the snow working to wreak havoc on the chastity of anime girls.

So, starting with the very bottom, we have RECORDS, caps intentional. This is broken down into three segments: Campaign, Online Battle, and the adorably Engrish, Achievement.

Campaign shows the…well, records of your playthrough of the single-player. I have a save record from when I briefly touched this game a few years back, so I can review details, at least of the first two missions.

It logs your Thermal Energy, which I am unsure if it’s the total amount you collected or how much when you finish the mission.

Play time is also logged, again unsure if this is cumulative or a best achieved in the level.

But going down, we have Akrid Killed (the aforementioned little dudes I blanked on), Humans Killed, VSs Destroyed (I believe those are the mechs), and Target Marks.

Oh boy, Target Marks? Are those the arbitrary collectibles found in each mission? Yes and it gets better! There’s Target Marks for each difficulty too! So if you want to be extra meticulous you have to play each mission on four different difficulties and find each target.

Curiously, I see that I got one in Normal that has the letter “R”…does it spell out a word? Does each difficulty have its own word? Does getting each target in each difficulty spell out a cryptic phrase like “Be sure to drink your ovaltine?” I could Google this, but I shan’t. I prefer to raw dog it, at least for the first play.

HUH. I backed out of the Campaign section in RECORDS and a random video played. There doesn’t seem to be a rhyme or reason. Perhaps it wants to keep the dynamism and have a random video play whenever you change out of and back into a menu?

Next section in RECORDS, again, caps intentional, is Online Battle Results. This mouthful contains your records from the multiplayer. It seems there is a rudimentary leveling system in place. I never played it online, so there are no records. But it shows a level bar, with some icon and a flag showing your region.

Below that are four medals with a number next to it, again everything here is zero. I have no idea what the medals are, we have a medal with a…star medal…trippy. The next medal has a flag, the next medal has…I dunno, a rook or something? The last medal has what I believe to be a T-Rex. No words describing them, so please excuse my artistic license.

To wrap this up, this contains stats for: Online Matches, Players Encountered, Enemies Killed, Deaths, Rampage Ratio (Kills / Deaths), Thermal Energy (Total), Elite Enemies Killed, Max Killing Spree, Head Shots, and Friendly Kills.

Okay, I have thoughts. How quaint that they have players encountered as a stat. I always wondered in some multiplayer games like CoD how many people in total I have seen while doing lines of G-Fuel in between sessions during Double XP Weekend.

Also, Rampage Ratio? I have no idea if Capcom created that term specifically for Lost Planet, but it sounds so adorable.

What even are elite enemies? Isn’t this PVP? Is there a PVE element in the multiplayer? I guess the world shall never know.

Lastly, friendly kills…how…brave to have them put that as a stat in multiplayer. Friendly fire is on, and we track it, and we can AND will shame you.

Oh, hey, I forgot. The menu for the RECORDS page is a bit different. No animated videos, or anything like that. I suppose that’s taxing the system a bit too hard.

Next up in the RECORDS is my favorite: Achievement. Picking this will merely bring up the achievement menu in the guide. A bit…boring. But I suppose if it works, it works. Achievement!

We’re movin’ on up, to the OPTIONS side. This contains two parts: Game Settings and Xbox Live Marketplace. Sooo, Phil Spencer personally took the Xbox 360 Store back behind a shed and introduced a shotgun shell to it last Summer. I feel like this option might not work, but we’re exploring, dammit! Let’s see anyway.

But before we do that, one thing is bugging the HECK out of me. At the bottom of the menu is “gamertag :” then following my gamertag. I hate how it’s in lowercase despite the fact that so much is in ALL CAPS. Maybe this was before the age of UX specialists ruining modern UI in games.

Game Settings time! Boy howdy are there settings. We have two sections to the Game Settings, the left-hand side shows us the controller layout. Seeing the image of the Xbox 360 controller is giving me some uncanny valley symptoms. But this simply shows the button layout for the controller. I will describe the default layout with its button format a bit later.

But for now, let’s focus on the actual settings. Settings are on the right-hand side and into four segments, and at the very bottom is the handy “Reset to defaults” option when you accidentally fuck with the settings so much that you inadvertently made it unplayable.

First section is Aiming! We have an interestingly detailed, well for its time, array of selections.

Inverted Controls allows you to select inversion on either the horizontal, vertical, or both. If you’re a normal human being, this will be set to off, or None in this case.

This next option is very, very interesting. Speed. My assumption this is how fuck with the response curves. This is a bit detailed: We have Accelerate, which goes from Accelerate 1, all the way to 8, Fixed, which again, goes from 1 to 8, and Cruise from 1 to 8. The default being Accelerate 3.

Allowing you to change your aiming speed hasn’t been in many console games during this era, let alone the response type you get from each. I have no idea what these do, but I assume for Accelerate there’s a rate of acceleration that changes depending on how far the stick is pushed and the speeds change the acceleration rate?

For Fixed, I think the movement would be equivalent to linear? Where no matter how far you pushed the stick the rate of movement is the same.

Cruise…this might be tricky. It might be something of a mix of Fixed and Accelerate where up to a certain boundary, you move X units per frame, but once you go beyond it, there’s a high acceleration factor?

Might be worth experimenting to see what’s the best feel. But this is pretty cool seeing this in a 2007 game.

Next setting is a bit confusing, but I am curious. View. Default is: Normal. But we have Zoom and Wide as options. Is this the FOV? If true, this would be pretty wild for a 360 game.

Last up in the Aiming section, we have Aim Assistance. Pretty straightforward. ON and OFF, caps intentional.

Next Smegment, typo intentional, is Xbox 360 Controller…sigh, I suppose this is the time I have to painstakingly describe the button layout. Welp, someone’s gotta do it.

But first, we have two parts in the Xbox 360 Controller segment: Control Pattern and Vibration. Vibration is easy: ON and OFF. Simple, right?

Now it’s time for the Control Pattern. I will try my best to make this interesting. There are three layouts titled: PATTERN A, PATTERN B, and PATTERN C. I don’t know about you, but settings in all caps hurt my eyes.

So…I purposely left out one little detail that I will mention now. I deeply apologize for being intentionally deceitful, but I had to do it. Please understand. You see there’s two control modes, one is Human and the other is VS display. I think the VS display is for when you use the mechs.

But let’s look at the default control scheme for the Human then the VS. Then we can look at how the control patterns differ. I hope that’s a clean way to organize this via text!

Human:
LT - Grenade
LB - Turn 90 Degrees Left
RT - Shoot
RB - Turn 90 Degrees Right
Left Stick: Move, CLICK: Crawl
D-PAD: UP/DOWN: Zoom, LEFT/RIGHT: Light
Back: PDA Menu (Holy shit a PDA what is this 2004?)
Start: Pause
Right Stick: Aim, CLICK: Reload
A: Jump
B: Action (Press the action button, Snake!)
X: Anchor (I think that’s the grapnel hook)
Y: Change Weapon

VS:
LT - Fire L-Weapon
LB - Turn 90 Degrees Left
RT - Fire R-Weapon
RB - Turn 90 Degrees Right
Left Stick: Move (No crawling!)
D-PAD: LEFT/RIGHT: Light
Back: PDA Menu (Ever had a PDA before the iPhone? I always wanted one)
Start: Pause
Right Stick: Aim, CLICK: Crawl (Just kidding, it’s Reload)
A: Jump
B: Action
X: SP Attack (Not a clue what that means)
Y: SP Function (No idea either here!)

That was fun and not a slog to write. I bet the feeling was mutual to read, eh? Well, we’re not done yet! What’s the difference between the other control schemes?

Well in PATTERN B, we swap the LB and RB for the Human, so instead of those right angle turns:

LB - Zoom
RB - Reload
D-PAD: Loses the ability to zoom up and down.
Right Stick Click: Turn 360 degrees.

That’s right 360 degrees! Fits the platform quite well. Curious how well that works. Like if you can interrupt it with moving the stick.

For the VS, same deal, except you can manually reload each weapon:

LB - Reload L-Weapon
RB - Reload R-Weapon
Right Stick Click: Turn 360 degrees.

Already, we’re seeing some interesting, but minor mechanical changes to how you operate the game. It’s already weird having a post-Gears of War-style game using quick turns. But having a quick…spin? Interesting.

Almost done! Onwards to PATTERN C! This one looks the weirdest, but let’s dig into the differences for the Human compared to PATTERN A.

LB - Change Weapon
RB - Reload
Right Stick Flick: Turn 360 degrees.

Flick: turn 360 degrees?! Whaaaaat does that mean? I am curious how this can be done or how often it could be done in error. Interestingly, the Y button does nothing. That’s…a choice

Nevertheless, almost done, here’s the VS:

LB - Reload L-Weapon
RB - Reload R-Weapon
Right Stick Flick: Turn 360 degrees

Very same-y, right? I am curious in trying all three out to see what would be a good choice. I find it refreshing seeing a game with a reload button not being on the face button as I think it’s more important having your hands on the controls and aiming as much as possible, even between reloads.

But I find it so curious that they give the ability to reload manually for the VS per weapon but only in patterns B and C.

ARE WE DONE? Not quite. Ten pages into this and we’re still not even playing the darn game. We have two more segments and they will be quick, I promise.

Sound segment has two parts: Music Volume and SFX Volume. Both are bars, with, it seems, 100 points of articulation. It’s pretty hard to fine tune them. I would prefer a number, but what do I know?

Last segment is Screen/Other. I love how descriptive Other is. It has Brightness and Subtitles. Brightness is the same type of bar, and Subtitles is a simple ON and OFF toggle. Sometimes I feel like I put the caps on just to fuck with you, kind reader. Just kidding. You’re a trooper if you somehow read all of this!

Btw, these settings don’t save automatically, when you make a change and back out, it has a confirmation screen asking to save. I feel indifferent to having it save automatically versus it asking me. I guess I would grind my gears if I had to change the settings all the time, which would probably be rare for this game.

Remember how we were in the OPTIONS part of the menu? Well we’re still not done, if you can believe that! Next up is the Xbox Live Marketplace!

I thought this wouldn’t work, but…it does! This is a trip, I will tell you. There are currently 19 items listed…you know what? Fuck it. We’re doing all 19:

Main Character 1M Theme for 63 cents! Okay, tangent time. Microsoft used to do MS points which were a ridiculous conversion from dollars to points. 800 MS points was $10. So this theme was a whopping 50 MS points! This theme was to celebrate Lost Planet and Dead Rising hitting a million sales. Not separately, together. What simpler times…

Snow Pirates 1 1M Picture Pack again, 63 cents or 50 fun bucks. This shows three snow pirates. Also the 1M stuff is the 1 million sale celebration for two games released five months apart from each other. Does that imply that Dead Rising slacked or Lost Planet slacked between them?

Snow Pirates 1M Theme for 63 cents or about 50 V-bucks.

Snow Pirates 2 1M Picture Pack for 63 cents. I wonder how many CoD Points that equals? Capcom surely loves snow pirates.

“Theater” Trailer (420p) - okay, one thing you will notice, is that during this time, many trailers released had a 420p version and the super cool, super trendy 720p version. So if you really wanted to, you can own the standard def trailer.

“Theater” Trailer (720p) - hey, look, it’s the 720p trailer I mentioned.

LOST PLANET Online Demo - less than 200 MB for a demo! Crazy, eh? Also what’s with the obsession with the caps? I mean it is CAPcom after all.

Lost Planet “Snow Pack” Theme for 63 pennies or about 96 Yen by today’s conversion. This is the first non 1 million celebration whatever pack. Also, no caps this time for the title!

Lost Planet Picture Pack 1. Even inflation hits 2007 games, with this one at a whopping 75 cents. That’s like, what 60 Monkey Scrotum points? This shows renders of…characters? I have no idea who any of these people are. Curious who actually bought them and decided to be NPC number 4 as their online avatar for Xbox Live.

Lost Planet Picture Pack 2 is next. I actually didn’t look at the listing, just guessed and I was right! For 75 cents what does this get you? Well, one of them is of the Akrid, Dongo. I will just move right along…hehe…Dongo.

Secrets to Keep Trailer. Looks like the next few trailers don’t have SD or HD listings, I hope your bandwidth can handle the 70 MB of trailer.

Awakening Trailer. Yes, we’re really going through all of this.

Cold Reality Trailer. If you’re still paying attention, please let me know. This is driving me mad too.

LOST PLANET E3’06 Demo. Hold your horses. TWO demos? With this being half a year prior to launch? I might wanna look into this. I am curious if they changed anything. Slight, small, or insignificant, it’s right up my alley!

LOST PLANET Theme. Wowzers, this is the most expensive item yet! $1.88 for a theme! That’s highway robbery. That has to be at least 150 MS points.

LOST PLANET Pre-E3’06 Trailer (480p) - I am getting really tired of typing that title in caps. No copy/paste here!

LOST PLANET Pre-E3’06 Trailer (720p). Ever wonder which version of the trailer was more popular? Someone has the stats somewhere.

Lost Planet: Extreme Conditions Trailer (480p). No caps, this is great. I am curious what the motivation is for styling it with and without caps. Like, someone had to make that decision somewhere. Team Caps or Team Normal. Which do you represent?

Lost Planet: Extreme Conditions Trailer (720p). We’re done! That’s it. If you read all of this so far, I salute you.

3500 words later and you may be wondering to yourself, “Can you please, PLEASE talk about the game?” My response is…not quite. We still have two more segments in the main menu to talk about, and fortunately it’s not bad.

So, I know it’s impossible to tell here, but I took a break and decided to load the game up again. Well, game is an interesting word, as we did nothing in terms of playing it.

But I find it curious when starting up the game, after pressing start on the title screen, it says that no storage device is selected by default and asks me to select storage or throw caution to the wind. Is this a curio due to the nature of me playing this on the Series X? I wonder if this is like it on the Xbox 360 version. Maybe going back and playing it on 360 along with the demos should be something I should try to replicate and see if it happens again.

Now, where was I? Should I even say that as you have no idea of my absence? Oh well, you can spare to indulge a few sentences if you manage to make it this far. Oh, yeah! Just finished going through the Xbox Live Marketplace arrangements. Wasn’t that fun?

Right above the OPTIONS segment, we have ONLINE BATTLE. It is greyed out, so I cannot select it. Well, I can, it just chastises me for being poor.

Moving right along, we have CAMPAIGN, I feel like we’re going to be quite familiar with this one. Three options here: New Game, Continue, and Mission Select. Standard fare, honestly a bit boring, but we gotta work with what we got.

What’s in Mission Select you ask? Glad you asked. So this is a bit abnormal that your standard mission select than you’re used to. There are two halves to the screen, and the easiest one to describe will be the one on the right.

The right-hand side is a map of this supposed lost planet, which is a bit ironic as how can it be lost if they clearly mapped out the topography? Plot holes aside, each mission shows an icon on the map of where it takes place along with an image of the mission. I am truly curious on who selected the image for some of this as the image selected for mission one is nondescript.

But, I think it’s a bit neat, a tad contradictory in showing this map on the mission select screen. A bit more exciting than just the mission along with an image.

On the left-hand side we have our mission select screen. This is a bit weirder than how I am used to seeing things. Each mission is structured as so: Mission 00: Mission name. Then below it is the difficulty you finished it with the lower difficulties being selectable. Below that to the right are the medals you’ve obtained per difficulty.

It’s really odd to me seeing the difficulty being selectable on the mission itself on a per mission basis. But I suppose that makes sense, as you can start a hard mode play, finish mission one and then not do mission 2. That means only mission 1 would have hard mode selectable and not the others.

Also, I am curious about the medals. Why medals? Why not just do something more…interesting? Is there a lore or gameplay reason we’re doing this? Very confusing to me.

Okay, enough is enough. We can finally start the game.

I will play this on the normal difficulty. If I do decide on a harder play run, I will notate this, but everything will have normal as the default mode of play.

It seems if you select New Game and you already have save data, it will nuke it from orbit. Soooo, if you’re going to start this over again like I am, maybe just stick with Mission Select for future runs.

Only three difficulties are available, Easy, Normal, and Hard. Suspiciously, there’s space for one more difficulty at the bottom. I feel like this is gonna be the super-ultra-fun mode of play.

The game begins with a pretty long exposition dump setting the world and blah blah blah. Humans left Earth to establish E.D.N. III, which I suppose is the third E.D.N., well that looks like an acronym. Does it stand for anything? No clue!

We’re in the year, -80 or something TC. Terminal something or another. I am sorry they were throwing a good amount of things at me at once so my little peanut brain couldn’t juggle it all.

The first cutscene starts with those crazy kids leaving the front door open so a bunch of gigantic creatures from Monster Hunter arrive. No idea who thought it was a good idea to let those things in. But apparently they are the Akrid and inside they have a creamy center full of thermal energy.

Goodness, what other narrative tidbits were there? Oh, humanity established a colony, then got the boot when the Akrid fought back. Then humanity came up with mechs called VS called…uh, something suits.

There’s a guy named Gale. Not sure who he is, but the character Wayne said “Dad!” so I assume that’s his dad.

There was another colony established and existed for 20 years…okay, I am going to say this. Don’t fucking give me so many things to juggle all at once. I combed through all of your options and while going in blind, I have a better idea of what’s happening and even I am lost in this planet of lore dumping.

I know the game has a manual, and was I supposed to read and memorize that? Do you really want me to do an entire analysis on that? You want me to pause the game and just go through the manual? I will do it, dammit!

Anyway, while starting the game, your Thermal Energy constantly decreases, which is annoying as I really like to mess around with the feel of the controls. I find it odd, as in the very first mission you are indoors, so why does the Thermal Energy, or as the game lovingly calls T-ENG, decrease?

The aiming feels off. Like, really odd. You move the reticule a little bit and the camera doesn’t move until you move far enough in a certain direction. This goes at odds with third person games.

I find it a bit odd that the 90 degree turns overshoot it. Perhaps this is just me getting used to the controls, but I will write more of my discoveries.

Anyway, the game starts with you testing out your grappling mechanic, and I need to test how that functions more. There was an amusing scene where a dude, maybe Gale, was opening a hatch on the floor to rappel below. A soldier put his hand up specifically for me halting my progression and an invisible wall was preventing me from goofing off.

But once you did have full agency to move, you were supposed to fall down and automatically you would grapple down. I reached the bottom and had no idea which button it was to detach, so I pressed A and it catapulted me to the top, I jumped, fell down the same hole and crashed down. Luckily for me, there’s no fall damage.

But as soon as that happened a rollie pollie Akrid cruised in and my dudes opened fire. There’s no fall damage, but there is friendly fire…for some reason as I stood in front of my supposed ally as he unloaded a magazine into my back.

After doing that, a huge wall of text appeared, which was more terrifying than any foe I’ve encountered thus yet. Weakened from the lore dump a few minutes prior, I found it nigh impossible to continue paying attention to more explanations. But I soldiered on.

This text box, in painstaking detail, explained to me what Thermal Energy and the Harmonizer do. Remember when I said those Akrid have a creamy filling inside? When you kill them, their creamy goodness oozes from every orifice, pooling on the floor. You collect that to increase your T-ENG which is constantly decreasing, because it’s cold outside and apparently a jacket ain’t gonna cut it.

But when you get damaged, the Harmonizer comes into play, the Harmonizer is what facilitates the health regen, I guess. It takes whatever creamy goodness you gathered from the Akrid and spends it to restore your health from a friendly fire incident.

What happens when you reach 0 T-ENG? Well, your health bar decreases, which this game happens to call your life gauge.

Let’s talk HUD. Your HUD, at least so far, is pretty basic. On the upper left-hand side you have your “Life gauge”, called Life with a short, nondescript green bar. Below that is your constantly dwindling T-ENG, which is annoying that I have to constantly pause the game to talk about this.

Upper right-hand side, we have our compass, which rotates as you move around, with the north side highlighted in red so you don’t get lost, I guess. Inside the compass, I assume this will show friendly and enemy icons. Need to see if it shows items or VS mechs.

The bottom right-hand side shows your active weapon and the ammo.

The bottom left-hand side is blank, but if I remember correctly, this is for grenades.

Our aiming reticule resembles a little X, but with a circle in the middle. Below it is a meter showing how much ammo we have in our current magazine before needing to reload.

The aiming reticle turns green whenever you can grapple on to something.

Jumping is…interesting to say the least. You can jump quite high, maybe 1.5x your height? But when you land, there’s a brief pause, so spamming jump while playing may not be a wise speedrun strat.

I noticed that the default aiming is a bit too sluggish for me. Like it’s too slow initially, but the longer you hold it in a direction the acceleration gets higher?

It’s also odd that the only way to change the aim settings is not via the pause menu, as that only has: Back, Restart, and Quit. You need to go into your PDA and select the Configuration to change it.

Oh, jeez. All this goofing around and I am almost out of energy. Oh, well. Let’s see if I can tweak the settings to make it easier to aim.

It looks like the View option does change the FOV in a weird way, the zoom option narrows it, but for the life of me, I cannot tell the difference between Normal and Wide. Is this to accommodate widescreen TVs? As at that time, there were many gamers still rocking the standard def units. In fact, this kinda made Dead Rising a bit hard to play as a result. So is this Capcom’s way of fixing that?

When shooting enemies, I noticed that it highlights the enemy with two triangles? I suppose to help guide you when shooting as the enemies may blend into the environment.

Also, it looks like the aiming has pretty healthy auto aim, or more specifically bullet magnetism. I was shooting in the general vicinity of an enemy, my reticule wasn’t red nor reticule not on the enemy and the bullets made contact.

Y’know I have not a damn clue what my objective is in this level at all. I activated something called a Data Post, and another text box of death appeared. It said that these data posts give me thermal energy, not sure how, but after doing so, I can use the map on my PDA. This also tells me the direction of the next data post.

Maybe these posts are the little markers telling my dumbass where to go. It seems linear so far, maybe things blend into the environment?

After vanquishing the text box from bad tutorial hell, I am greeted with a cutscene showing a huge Akrid, which Gale, remember him?, called a Green Eye. For creatures with creamy thermal goo in their bodies, this creature confused me. Here’s something the size of a building, yet it could breathe ice blasts and freeze things? I guess I shouldn’t think too hard about it.

I accidentally changed my aiming sensitivity to the highest on Accelerate, so it would be interesting seeing if I goof this sequence.

Pressing back does in fact show a map. If it paused the game, I would be more inclined to give a better analysis of this, but the Jolly Green Giant is chasing me, maybe later.

After a daring escape from the Green Meanie, I changed my aim sensitivity to Linear 5. It looks like this also affected how the reticule moves, as it is fixed similarly to how a typical third person shooter operates. Very weird how this game is operating.

Payback time? So after hopping into a VS, which in this case is the PTX-140, another text box appeared! Sidenote, you think the X stands for Xtreme? I hope so. This goes through the basic controls that I listed earlier, right? Well, not quite! This VS mech has special powers?

The A button is to hover, you jump and then press A again to hover. One more time to cancel. Y is to dash. It says in the direction of your Left Stick, but we shall see. X is the VS Saw, so I assume that is the melee attack.

Ah, there’s a catch! Jumping increases the rate of T-ENG consumption. With hovering keeping the rate of high consumption steady. A bit lame, but can’t have fun all the time, I suppose.

After putting some rounds into the Green dude, we get about a three minute cutscene that drastically changes things, adds weird plot elements, and introduces new characters! Yay, that’s going to be a mess.

So we failed in killing big Greeny, and in turn killed our dad, who was Gale. Oddly, during the cutscene, it showed the VS mech that I used to be quite agile, which it most definitely wasn’t in the game. I wish this sucker could skate around like those cute lil robots from Ghost in the Shell.

With dad dead, we get ominous voice over about…actually I don’t remember other than there might be a secret plot or conspiracy. I suppose it doesn’t matter a whole lot.

We then get to a scene of Wayne walking around in his mech in the snow, it failing, and then in another scene he is in bed with a UV of Thermal Energy linked to his right arm.

The dude administering it, finds it odd, which I do too, as this makes me think his right arm has magical Shonen Jump powers. Then two more characters are introduced…uh, I actually don’t remember their names. Guy with goggles and girl with cleavage. We do things that aren’t important.

The next scene starts, and I don’t remember anything from it.

The next scene starts after that and the three characters mention their goal in destroying Akrid and how they need a VS pilot. The characters are confused when Wayne said he can do it despite the fact they found him in a destroyed VS.

If you’re confused like I am, then that’s okay. All of this information was conveyed in what it feels like three or so minutes. No build up, just sharted out on a plate for us to consume.

Thus, ladies and gentlemen, the prologue.

After this, Mission 1, or stylized as Mission 01 begins. Our task is simple: kill Akrid and destroy a hive.

Did you read it all? I don’t blame if you skipped it. Will I actually start the first mission?! Find out tomorrow…er, Wednesday or whenever/if ever you read that!

That was probably the palette cleanser this dumb blog needed and probably the longest post on Bunpro by at least one magnitude. Fun fact! This Profound Waste of Time has to be broken into several chunks! I learned the character cap is 40,000 characters and my post is only…uh a quarter of a million.

Sooo, you know what I will do? Break this sucker up into chunks each day and share it along with my typical posts in a spoiler. Yes, we’re not done!

To those that read it all, I salute thee!

4 Likes