I’ve been where you are and can completely sympathise with so much of what you’re saying! It can be really difficult to know what the best path forward is sometimes. But you seem to be putting a lot of thought into it, so I’m certain you’ll develop a plan that’s right for you.
Here's my usual routine if you'd like to have a look! Put under a read more since I've added a fair bit of detail
I work full-time and have some caring responsibilities, and study Japanese purely for fun and don’t need it for work or uni or anything, so your learning needs might be very different to mine!
I’ll pop my routine below, but my routine and my expectations are very different, if that makes sense
I like to set myself a very low goal, so that on days that I don’t have the time or energy to do much, then I don’t feel guilty for doing less and then fall out of my routine, which I have done very often in the past. For example, my goal for doing exercise is to do 5 minutes a day, even though I usually do way more. If I’ve had a busy day, I can still quickly do just 5 mins on my exercise bike before bed and then be happy that I’ve at least met my goal. And on days I do more, I feel like I’ve been really productive! I try to take the same approach with Japanese studying.
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Wanikani:
Goal: 3 new items and 10 reviews a day
What I usually manage: 6 new items a day, and around 70 reviews per day to clear my review pile.
I do about 30 reviews in a morning, then as many as I can at midday, and then I try to clear the pile to 0 before bed.
I get overwhelmed if there’s too many reviews, and I find my brain stops processing information if I do too many in one go, so I usually do them in bursts of no more than 20 at a time, then put an alarm on my phone for 5 mins or so to go read a book or something to give my brain a rest before doing another round.
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Bunpro:
Goal: 1 grammar item and 5 reviews a day
What I usually manage: 1 new grammar item a day and 2-4 vocab a day, ideally something I’ve already learnt on WK so that I can use the practice sentences to help get the nuance of the word.
This leaves me with only about 20 or so reviews a day
I’m not as good with this one for some reason. I keep forgetting do them 
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Bunpro’s kaijugation practice feature:
Goal: 1 session per new grammar item learnt
What I usually manage: I get hooked on this, and I like to do it several times a week
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Youtube videos:
I’ve started watching Natural Japanese videos a lot recently, and I’ve found it’s helped so much!!
Goal: listen to 1 sentence a day from a video
What I usually manage: I might only watch 1 minute of the video a day or an entire video depending on how much time and energy I have, but my strategy is this (it seems like a lot at first, but it only takes about minute to do them all):
- start the video and open up the video transcript with time markers
- listen to one sentence at a time, or one section of a sentence. The first listen, try to work out as much meaning as possible. Use context clues from the video.
- Play it again once or twice to identify words and grammar I know. The time markers in the transcript can help you jump to the start of the sentence.
Pause the video and think about what I think the sentence means.
- Read the transcript for this sentence. Can I identify any more words from reading it that I didn’t pick up when listening? What do I think the sentence means now?
- Copy and paste the sentence into Google Translate. Identify what I got right and what I missed.
- Watch that bit of video once more now that I know what it means to see if I can follow along.
- Watch that bit of video yet again, but shadowing this time, breaking the sentence up into sections if I need to by pausing to give my brain chance to catch up.Do this until I can speak along with the video for the duration of the sentence without any major fumbles.
- Listen to the sentence again and do a little victory dance, happy in the knowledge that I kinda get what it says and can say it myself as well!
Pros: I can watch fun videos about something I like! There’s lots of comprehensible input channels now, like the one I linked above, that make videos with different The visual clues can give extra context and help you remember what something means. You can change the speed of the videos if you need to slow it down a bit. It’s fun to watch the video through once you’ve studied it and feel a sense of achievement as I understand all of it or enough to know what’s being said.
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Reading NHK news easy:
Goal: read 1 article a week, either a few sentences a day or an entire article in one go
What I usually manage: One article a day some days, though usually no more than 3 or 4 articles a week. I find it useful to read news articles since it also gives me an idea of current events and culture and things like that, and helps practice kanji that might not come up much in other types of reading!
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Reading stories or manga:
Goal: Read one paragraph a week of a book at an appropriate level or a page of an manga a week
What I usually manage: a short story a week or a book of manga a week
I’m currently working through a book of about 50 stories for Japanese learners that are all about 3 or 4 pages long and get progressively more difficult through the book, which I find perfect since I can get through one story in a sitting if I really want to. And it means that I’m constantly feeling a sense of achievement since I’ve worked through another story!
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italki speaking practice:
Goal: 30 minute lesson a week. Ideally part of it with time to ask questions about any vocab or grammar that’s confusing me recently but the bulk of it being chatting about fun things
What I usually manage: currently this is out of my budget, but I do want to get back into it soon since I used to find it so useful!
Personally, I like to focus on things that I find fun and help me keep my motivation and momentum up. Things like watching youtube videos of someone talking about their pet or doing a cooking tutorial is going to help me enjoy my hobby way more than something like textbook drills, so I make sure to spend more time doing fun things than I spend on drills. Sometimes, doing something that makes you learn loads but burns you out is way less useful than what keeps your momentum up. Plus this is a hobby, you should get to enjoy your hobbies!
As I say in my routine bit under the cut, I like to set my goals really low so that on the days I’m busy and can’t get to do much practice, I don’t end up in a guilt spiral and end up demotivating myself. I know you say that you feel like you’re going slow with your vocab reviews, but you’re doing way more than double what I am and it sounds to me like you’re doing absolutely loads! Personally, I’d recommend going slightly slower with your vocab if you can. If you take some of the time you spend on WK and instead play games/ watch videos/ read books etc, then the vocab reviews might come easier to you and you’ll enjoy them more since you’re not feeling guilty for having them looming over you so much. Plus, because you’d be encountering the vocab in the wild, that’ll help reinforce the vocab you learn and will also help you learn new vocab easier if you’ve come across it already in a game! And that way you’re also learning the nuance of the vocab since you’re seeing it in context more.
I think it’s also useful to consider what your goals are. What are you wanting to use Japanese for? If you’re wanting to learn Japanese so that you can play Japanese games, then I’d focus on playing as many games as possible, or reading as many books that are at your current reading level if that’s your end goal, etc. And also think about how you personally stay motivated. Do deadlines help you, or do they just loom over you and hinder your learning? If you enjoyed having more structure, something like an italki teacher might be useful to give you some external accountability, as long as it’s in your budget.
I’m a big believer in celebrate wins. You’re doing an amazing job and deserve to recognise that!! Learning a language is a lot of work, and getting to N3 is a huge achievement. I’m a big fan of also celebrating little wins as well. Watching an entire 5 min video or cutscene in a language you’re learning from scratch is a huge thing to be able to do! Reading a short story in a language that doesn’t share the same writing system as yours is incredible! Please be proud of how much you can do.
And finally make sure you also give yourself plenty of time off every day where you’re not learning Japanese and relaxing, to give your brain time to absorb what you’re learning and to just enjoy yourself. Time off helps us process new ideas and information, so remember that the occasional nap is a key language learning strategy!