I am gonna do 20 new words and 10 new grammar points a day. Is that too little or too much?
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Relatively, probably 4-5 hours daily when you will have finished with materials you already know 
I can’t be surprised by the sudden rush of reviews if I expect them. I’m not afraid of them, they’re afraid of me.
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It depends on you. I do 6 grammar points a day (3 morning, 3 evening), 15 words on wani kani, and 30 in my anki deck. Sometimes I’ll do 3 grammar points and skip a day on wani kani or anki. When I first started, 20 words per day in anki was a lot. It can also depend on the particular set of grammar points or vocab. If it’s easier, you can do more.
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You don’t need to settle yet, the difficulty and review load will change with your knowledge and the amount of SRS piling up over time. If you go faster than you can maintain it will grow very fast.
I started with a pretty low amount of words, but over time I ended up comfortable with a much higher load as I started getting the feel for kanji and immersion to help maintain words and pick them up faster.
At a pace of 4 grammar points a day you’d finish all the bunpro grammar in under 3/4ths of a year. At 6 it would be half a year. That’s pretty fast. You’ll be a lifelong student of Japanese, the first year is nothing in comparison so a few months difference shouldn’t matter too much in the long run. Trying to finish it in 3 months (10 a day) is probably not a good idea unless you know an east asian language and already used to their grammar structure.
Try to find your limit, and see if you can push it a bit later, when that becomes your new limit, see if you can push it again. Just be careful taking too much from day one, it might discourage you and make you think you cant handle an amount you probably can handle at some point later on.
20 words is totally doable for a lot of people though so I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. You’ll probably be just fine, it’s a good amount and you can always lower or even increase it later when you’re more used to Japanese.
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That’s definitely too much, but you can always readjust it later. I’ve found the sweet spot to be 1-3 grammar points and around 5-10 vocabulary.