I have been studying the word for “wife” from multiple sources, and it seems that つま is the way to refer to your own wife, while よめ should be used by inlaws to refer to their daughter-in-law…
Which is right, Bunpro or them?
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元々は「自分の子供の妻」、「男性の結婚相手（用法：大きくなったら○○さんのお嫁さんになる！）」、「他人の妻」を指す（主に三人称的）言葉。現代では、西日本を中心に自分の妻（主に三人称的呼称）を指す言葉として用いられる。という考えがある一方、「男性一般の配偶者」や「結婚したばかりの女」を指す用法（主に三人称的呼称）としても平安時代の更級日記以来使われており、広辞苑をはじめ、辞書的にも認められた用法である。
Seems like originally it meant son’s wife, but has taken on the meaning of ‘wife’ in the traditional sense in recent years. 妻 is definitely the more common, but 嫁 is not wrong. It’s a bit like saying ‘my bride’ in English.
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In addition to what @Asher said/fun-fact, 嫁 could be used to refer to your own wife, but there are some women that do not like being called 嫁 because it has the nuance of them being an ‘outsider’. Many people nowadays use it similarly to how English speakers say ‘the wife’ when referring to their wife.
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