Returned to Japan after more than a decade, what I learned

Late last year, me and my partner had a situation that would be disastrous for most people. I quit my job of nearly 7 years in late August, and just weeks after my partner was laid off. We had a plan in case this happened, so we weren’t sweating it, but were looking to start looking for employment soon. Then we realized, we’ve been so caught up in everyday life that we haven’t been to Japan in ages. So we thought, we have the money, we have the time, let’s go. If we start working again right know, who knows when we’ll get the opportunity again. We had some delays do to my partners passport but were eventually able to go.

In July of 2012 I returned from Japan after a 3 month stay. I recently returned for a 1 month stay in December of 2023. More than 11 years have passed since I was last in Japan, but within that time frame I have studied almost everyday. Everything from iKnow, to Anki Flashcards, and of course Bunpro. I made a concerted effort to really focus on my studies after my lackluster performance at language school back in 2012. Over the years my preferred study apps, books and methods have changed numerous times. My philosophy on what works and what doesn’t has changed. Sometimes it felt like it was working, sometimes it felt like it wasn’t. Certainly, going back to Japan would be a huge reality check and yes it was. That goes without saying after 11 years. There is no question that my vocab, grammar, and reading has improved in that time period. There is no question that I have gotten better at understanding content and consuming more. Even so, I realized that I had also failed in certain aspects of my studies.

Right off the bat I knew what I was lacking in actual interaction with Japanese speakers. Despite the fact that I have had interactions over the past few years, they were few and far between. Regardless, I felt confident in going to Japan and doing well enough. Overall, I think I did better than last time, but not by what you would expect of an 11 year margin. At this stage I should be able to have little problem with most conversations, but I still struggled. The conversations I had with people generally went well, and had a good flow. Got Nihongo Jouzued at least 4 times, lol. Typically we here at Bunpro poke fun at that type of thing, but most of them seemed sincere. Still, in most cases I did hit a wall at some point in the conversation. A word I didn’t know, grammar I hadn’t studied, something I misheard. So in other words yeah, conversations but not fluent ones.

THE CURIOSITY OF STUDYING JAPANESE WHILE NOT IN JAPAN

Why even do it? Easy, because I like doing it. But why does this sentence have specific train vocab and train lines only used in Japan. Let me skip over this “各駅停車“ vocab that I’m never gonna use in the middle of Texas. What is this Odakyu Line, I’ve never been on it. But I’ll study the word 魔力 becasue I play RPGs and watch Konosuba. That’s the type of dilemma I’m faced with when studying Japanese in the states. I don’t feel that propor Keigo used in stores, train vocab, things like that are relevant to me. Even when I talk to Japanese people in San Antonio, we talk about the events, streets, and places here. One of my favorite podcasts is Shikku Haku American Life because the host talks about American products, restaurants and interactions in the US. It’s relatable and relevant to my everyday life. If listening to a Japanese podcast made for a Japanese audience, they may talk about the Sekaido art store, or some random department store I have nowhere near me, so I may be lost not knowing what they’re talking about. But if the host talks about Target, well I can listen to the rest within context of what the host is talking about. So is learning words that I would never almost use in daily Japanese life, like 魔法使い。It’s a bit of an anomaly, and I think it really hurt me when I came back and had no idea what a レジ袋 was. I wonder if that’s part of the reason Japanese people struggle with speaking English despite so much time studying it in school. It not actually being relevant to their everyday lives.

PROCESS OVER DOING

I love to study Japanese. I know that there are many people who would skip out on that part all together if they could and hey, I get it. But perhaps I like it a bit too much. So much so that I make it a part of my everyday routine, often neglecting output and immersion. Would it be so hard for me to take a day out of my flashcards and Bunpro daily sessions and replace it with language exchange? In theory, no, but apparently so in practice. Sometimes I get caught up in streaks and daily reps and the routine of it all. Is it helpful? Yes it is. Has it helped me out on my latest outing to Japan? No doubt it has. Would have it helped more if I had been engaging in language exchange all these past years? I have no doubt it would. Studying by myself is something I can control, do anytime during the day. Studying with an exchange partner takes effort and coordination, both having be on equal terms. There were days early on in my studies when I didn’t want to do language exchange, but I would always do it becasue I didn’t want to look like a chump, and I never regretted it. Even if I was hungover or hadn’t slept, man I miss my 20s, lol. Over the years I lost touch with my language exchange partner, and have only made half-hearted attempts to find a new one. The technology is there, the apps are there, people willing to exchange languages are there. I’m the only one holding myself back for the sake of convenience and not having to rely on someone else’s schedule. Speaking with Japanese people over the past month, despite not being perfect, was fun and fulfilling, despite it being a little frustrating and embarrassing at times. The people I talked with were genuinely curious and gracious towards me, often appreciating the fact that I was speaking in their native tongue despite how popular the language has gotten among foreigners. It would be nice to have that feeling again, of getting to know someone in another language.

FINDING VALUE IN LEARNING JAPANESE AGAIN

It’s not a huge debate if I was to say that the value of someone knowing and studying Japanese has depreciated. If you know how to use technology well enough, you can navigate through Japan with little issue. Using things like Google Maps, Google Translate which has come a long way, and auto text translators, being the cool Gaijin friend who always orders and translates everything is all of a sudden not a necessity. That’s the point of technology though. I’m directionally challenged, my spacial awareness is embarrassingly bad, but if I have a GPS and a car I can sign up to be an Uber Driver today, whereas you had to take a special training course and know the streets well to be a Taxi driver back in the day. We met up with one of my partner’s friends who has been living there since March and will be there until 2026. Right off the bat I could tell she has absolutely no interest in learning Japanese. Her husband works on base, so she mostly only has English speaking friends, that sort of thing. She would constantly use translation apps to understand signs and communicate with staff. Sometimes I would be standing there reading the sign, contemplating a Kanji I didn’t understand, and she already had the app with everything translated. I’m not against this, but again, it does devalue Japanese speakers and learners. I did get to the stage that I was asking myself “whats the point”.

The easiest thing in the world for me to do is stay home, not go outside, not talk to people. Just me, and my study apps, my books, my anime and videogames. My cushy little remote job, and my precious little partner who loves doing the exact same thing. The pandemic was a catalyst that exhasterbated that lifestyle and even encouraged it, and I thrived in it. There were times when I would ask myself, why am I even doing this? I’m halfway across the world, haven’t been to Japan in years and don’t plan to, I have no necessity to talk in Japanese. It makes me no money, takes time away from things that could be making me money, and in a post Jujutsu Kaisen and Demon Slayer world, we have more people than ever learning the language, so the uniqueness isn’t so special either, so what’s the point? Then it happened…

We went to visit my partners aunt in Shin-Misato. Truth be told, we didn’t know if she was still alive. She would be 94 years old and her husband passed away a few years back. Her sister (my partner’s grandmother) lost contact with her a few years back, so we feared the worst. We weren’t sure if she lived in the same place, or in a nursing home, or if she had passed. We made the trip out there not knowing what to expect, but rang the intercom and sprang out a voice. It was her, safe and sound, and healthy as ever. After a couple weeks trotting around in places like Shinjuku, Yokohama and Harajuku, I found myself in a very surreal spot, having a conversation with an 94 year old woman in a small apartment in a small Japanese town, showing me pictures of my partner’s family when they were young. Talking about how she walked daily and played piano for 2 hours a day. How she used to work from 7AM to 7PM for the local telephone company. She spoke no English at all, so we only talked in Japanese for about 3 hours. Was it perfect, no it wasn’t. There were times when I needed to bring out a dictionary and even ChatGPT. My partners family were thrilled to find out that she was safe and sound, and were extremly grateful. Could we have done it all through translation apps? Sure, we could have. But would have I walked away emotional becasue I know that she had accepted me as family despite only meeting me that one time? I really doubt that. The experience was not only reliving, heartwarming, but also spiritual in many ways.

I remembered why I continue to study, for experiences and connections like these. Connections that could not otherwise be made without speaking the language. It’s something that I have neglected, at times I even avoided speaking in Japanese when I knew I perfectly could just because I felt that I couldn’t be bothered to. I’m and introvert and that type of thing takes effort for me, but whenever I do it, I almost never regret it. Returning to Japan has been a blessing to me, both personally and spiritually. It made me realize that I needed further purpose in continuing to learn Japanese. That the true purpose of learning another language is not to just consume media and read books, but to build connections with people. Before I left my job in late August, I asked an older employee for advice as I was about to turn 40. What she told me was that for her at 40, is when she truly started living. It’s not the first time I’ve heard that. I returned to Japan at 40, and while I can sing the symbolics of it all, I can say that I did come back with a valuble perspective on learning and aquiring Japanese. It involves getting out of my comfort zone and embracing challenge, accepting failure, and pushing myself just a little harder than before. I don’t know when I’ll be back in Japan again, but one things is for sure; it won’t be another 11 years.

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What a great story – thank you for sharing! This reiterates for me a similar conclusion I’ve come to when I contemplate why I bother to continue picking my Japanese study back up after every break I take: I want to be ready with skills to make connections with people like you did. I’m glad you got to have such an experience, and thanks again for today’s practice inspiration!

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