So, I just saw this in a review, even with the hint, I still thought the answer could be はなしがたい
or is there any other way I can identify it has to be にくい
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Based on what I’m reading on goo.ne.jp, にくい means the act of performing the verb itself is difficult「…することがむずかしい」, whereas がたい means it’s difficult to realize the outcome of the verb「その動作の実現が困難であることを表す」. In other words, the action itself might not be difficult, but it also might not produce the desired result (I think this is where the “impossible to” nuance comes from). That being said, both entries also cross-reference each other.
I’m not sure the difference in meaning is that appreciable. For instance, how different is it to say an aciton is “hard to do” vs. “difficult to do?” I’m a native English speaker and couldn’t answer that.
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がたい conveys a stronger degree of impossibility than にくい, and thus it is used if the thing that is difficult to do is abstract in essence (cannot be done physically, so it needs a mental/internal effort) like:
- 忘れる to forget
- 信じる to believe
- 頼る to rely on
It carries the nuance of: “even if the action is desirable (がたい) , it would be difficult to do”.
On the other hand, にくい is only used when talking about physical difficulty, like:
- 勉強する to study
- 話す to speak
It carries the nuance of: “The action is detestable (にくい) to do, but it can be done”
(source)
But apparently がたい can be used in all instances where にくい can be used. It just adds a bit more emphasis. So はなしがたい is technically correct, as far as I know.
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In a nutshell
にくい - The difficulty is created by the speaker’s feeling/experience.
がたい - The difficulty is created by the task itself.
They overlap quite a bit, but there are many exceptions. In the sentence you provided, either are fine, but the nuance is like this -
はなしにくい - It is difficult to talk to her because it reminds me of my ex and in general is just not a nice experience (feeling based)
はなしがたい - It is difficult to talk to her because she has a very standoffish personality and does not like to chat, like my ex (task based)
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