内外：「母」 vs. 「お母さん」

[Lilalas]

Citing Wikipedia:

When using polite or respectful forms, the point of view of the speaker is shared by the speaker’s in-group (内 uchi ), so in-group referents do not take honorifics. For example, members of one’s own company are referred to with humble forms when speaking with an external person; similarly, family members of the speaker are referred to humbly when speaking to guests. Similarly, the out-group (外 soto ) addressee or referent is always mentioned in the polite style (though not necessarily with honorifics). [1]

Some nouns change completely for the same reasons, such as chichi and haha (“my father”, “my mother”) vs. o-tō-san and o-kā-san (“your father” and “your mother”, and they are also used to address one’s own parents respectfully). [2]

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Now, there are many sentences on Bunpro that discordantly use the word 「お母さん」 together with the translation “my mother”. What is the reasoning behind this? Is this just an oversight? Or are there actually situations where these usages would be regarded as acceptable?

Below are some examples, taken from the first few grammar points of N5.

ここは、私のおばあちゃんの家だ
This here is my grandmother’s house.

レストランでお母さんとご飯を食べる
I eat food with my mother at the restaurant.

私のお父さんが、高い時計をしています
My father is wearing an expensive watch.

今、お母さんが病院で寝ています
My mother is sleeping in the hospital now.

[Johnathan-Weir]

They could be introspective sentences instead of taking to another person?

[Lilalas]

That might be possible but then I don’t think these sentences are well-suited study examples. As a learner of Japanese, you should be focusing on how to express yourself in front of other people.

[s1212z]

and they are also used to address one’s own parents respectfully). [2]

I thought this answered your own question.

This is fine for referring to your own parent/grandmother but also depends who are speaking with and how you choose to present your self. You can even add さま instead of さん if you want a more sophisticated tone which is not uncommon. I’ve use お父さん、お母さん when referring to my parents or even directly addressing my in-laws (as is the custom to do so).

[Lilalas]

So I was a bit stubborn in assuming these sentences were meant to address strangers. That’s probably because my family is not Japanese, hence I don’t need to bother how I should address my parents. From my point of view, it is more useful to learn how to speak to strangers.

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@Pushindawood May I suggest

1. Adding a note to these sentences on the context of when to use them.
2. Changing the point of view on some (if not on all) sentences to get more variety.

[s1212z]

I don’t need to bother how I should address my parents. From my point of view, it is more useful to learn how to speak to strangers.

I believe this is more of a vocabulary point rather than a grammar point. Also I’ve seen many はは/ちち examples on BP. Here are just a few examples I remember below.

I wouldn’t recommend they change to fit a specific point of view for non-natives as listening is just as important as speaking and learners still need to know this. Suppose a Japanese acquaintance said お父さんが亡くなったところです and are left with the assumption that they are speaking about someone else’s father (and not their own) because they didn’t use ちち. I think context bridges the gaps which can’t alway be done in a single sentence. I don’t think young kids use はは/ちち much either when talking about their own parents.

[matt_in_mito]

As a learner of Japanese, you should be focusing on how to express yourself in front of other people.

In my experience 母 is very humble and fits quite nicely with です and ます as well as keigo. I’m not trying to be humble when I’m talking to my friends so I’ll always say お母さん - I feel that saying 母 in a friendly situation would be a bit strange. The textbooks will probably tell you to use 母 any time you’re talking about your own mother, but in reality that’s not the case.

This is from my personal experience and nothing to do with grammatical rules, but I very rarely say 母.