@Edo9, feel free to compare to me: I’ve been studying Japanese off-and-on since 2006, worked my way through both Genki I and II, attempted Remember the Kanji multiple times, and have been using Bunpro and WaniKani since 2018 and I’m still terrible. I do my reviews on both platforms down to 0 daily, my spouse and kids are Japanese/hafu and speak Japanese daily, we watch TV Japan almost exclusively in this house, I try to help my kids with their nihongo shukudai, and yet I’m still making the extremely slow progress that I make. The only reason my level on Bunpro is even where it is is because I think there’s a bug where if you un-burn items (and I’ve reset all of N5 before) it doesn’t roll your score back and you can still get the points again.
Some other examples to consider, which may not apply to you specifically, but I think are useful in keeping perspective: I teach music, and something I have to remind my students of is that not only are you getting better at playing the music, but you’re getting better at recognizing your mistakes. Students will practice and practice and get frustrated because they think they’re sounding worse than ever. But what’s actually happening is their ear is getting better, they are increasing their aural acuity - their fluency with sound and perception - and are therefore better able to pick out that something is wrong, even if they’re not immediately sure how to fix it. I think it’s similar to language learning, and part of the journey is your ear or eyes telling you ‘something doesn’t feel right here’ even if you don’t know why.
In smaller bursts, this often happens with students that have been away from their instrument for a bit: they’ll pick it up, maybe feel some physical discomfort from their playing muscles atrophying a bit, but otherwise be pleasantly surprised at how decent they still sound. Then after a week or two, they’ll come to me exasperated, ‘somehow I’m getting worse!’
Well, no, silly, you’re not getting worse, your ears are readjusting to picking out mistakes and intonation issues. As your muscles get back into shape, so does your ability to pick out inconsistencies and ever-more-detailed variances from The Perfect Sound. The same thing happens to me with WaniKani and Bunpro after I’ve been on vacation mode for awhile - I come back feeling good and ripping through piles of reviews…but the stuff I’ve forgotten or didn’t really lock in is lost and it’s frustrating to suddenly have every review session be stuff I don’t know but thought I did. The magic and the tragedy of SRS, it’s constantly showing you the stuff you’re bad at.
There’s probably something to be said for Dunning-Krueger Effect, too - perspective is vastly different from when someone first goes around konnichiwa-ing and hajimemashite-ing and having early, rapid successes versus having a real idea of what it means to try to read a light novel or listen to TBS podcasts or wander around Book-Off in Tokyo. At the beginning, you can just chalk it all up to ‘well , there’s the bucket of all the stuff I don’t know’ but after years, you have a sizeable bucket of stuff you DO know but the bucket of stuff you still don’t know is still infinite. I guess with infinity, no matter how much you chip away at it, it’s still infinite.
There might also be some Survivorship Bias here - you are comparing yourself to the people posting on Bunpro, but the people using Bunpro and are confident enough to post definitive nihongo answers are obviously the RAF planes that made it back. The sample set that you’re comparing yourself to is not normal or representative, and you’re only reading about their successes and/or the things they’re confident discussing. This is why I don’t use Instagram, because boy do I feel like garbage when I see everyone’s handpicked Best Moments of Awesomeness decorated with washboard abs. Also - you have no way of knowing what is a normal or representative sample set to compare yourself to, if one even exists. People will happily post what JLPT level they passed, but the legions of us failures that vastly outnumber them will keep our shameful mouths shut.
Anyway - slowpokes unite, and no matter how awful I still am/we still are at Japanese, odds are I can point to almost any non-Japanese person on Earth and say ‘my Japanese may not be good, but it’s way better than yours.’ It just so happens there’s a high concentration of people who can beat those odds here on Bunpro. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.