Now that the explanation states that てあげる can be patronizing, I think it should advice what to use to avoid that problem. As it is now it leaves the reader nothing to solve this problem with, “Related Grammar” doesn’t seem to point to anything either.
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Regarding てあげる… Seeing it’s rather rude in many contexts, what is the correct way to offer to help a stranger?
I.e “let me take a picture for you”, “let me help you with your luggage”, etc.
The volitional form can be used to make suggestions, and who does what for whom can be left to context. For example:
写真を撮りましょうか
お荷物を持ちましょうか
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So I also came here to ask, "if あげる might be considered rude by the elderly or someone of higher status, what is the most commonly-used alternative?". A different thread suggested that 差し上げる might be appropriate, but the nuance didn’t seem to match to me.
Is prompting with 〜ましょうか the best approach then?
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Hey there @he77kat !
差し上げる would be the best word to use to someone of a higher status! This will depend on the person on the receiving end and the situation, but adding ましょうか to てあげる could sound as patronizing as just using てあげる even though it sounds polite. てあげましょうか could be taken as rude because it kind of implies that you think that the person (of higher status) lacks the ability to do something, and could sound like you are being passive aggressive about their inability. However, by using て差し上げましょうか, it makes it sound like you are putting yourself below the person you are talking to.
I hope this clears it up!
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