There is no easter bunny,
There is no tooth fairy,
There is no get rich quick scheme,
and there is no instantly-learn-japanese-
with-this-one-of-a-kind-method-in-
just-under-1-year-speedrun.
What I am trying to say is: Do not speedrun Japanese.
“But I can try!”
you might say.
“It will be fun!”
you might say.
…
Fun. F u n. Of course it will be fun–
if you consider pushing yourself through an unrealistic and goal-oriented journey towards inevatible burnout infront of the crushing reality of Japanese being literally and objectively (among the) hardest language to learn, fun, sure.
The people who were able to this this are
A: Liars, B: Asian, or C: The Exception.
And if you consider yourself the special boy,
take a look into the river next to the household of your choosing,
look inside, and maybe take a wild stab at why a pair of deniably human legs are lurking out of the water, and why they are accompanied by a pair of oddly oval objects (which you might rather expect a bird to wear) rapidly approaching the precipice of a waterfall a little too big to allow you to think
“What an odd way to bathe.”
What I am trying to say is, don’t jump into that river.
It is a metaphor for not overworking yourself, sure,
but I mean really, don’t jump into rivers.
It is bad for your long term health.
Well, I guess it is also bad for your short term health; You will also get frostbite.
Have you seen pictures of frostbite?
Don’t get frostbite.
You might have noticed that I did not talk about instant Ramen.
Or maybe you were too taken aback, too dazzled, too dumbfounded, too bewildered, by my amazing analogies to notice.
Well, I originally meant to make a joke about instant Ramen being bad and unpolished and Instant Japanese also being bad and unpolished, so thats that.
On second thought though… I really like instant Ramen. Hm. Shit.
Ill just stick with the river metaphor.
P.s
Very much alike my original thought on creating a ramen metaphor, sometimes “unpolished” or in my case “utterly horrible” is okay.
You don’t need to be perfect, you just need to be better than you were yesterday and realize: rivers make better metaphors than noodles, even if they are tasty.