Japanese jokes you've created

Japanese
#1

Morning everyone, just as the title says, curious about any jokes youve possibly created in Japanese. I personally love to make little jokes and quips but for the most part they fall flat on my japanese coworkers, and so ive been trying to come up with new jokes in japanese, Ive managed to come up with two of which only one is any good. So Ill start with the bad one

人口は人工だ (じんこう は じんこう だ)

Its no good though ive gotten a few pity chuckles. The second one is loved by everyone Ive told it to though it requires a set up potentially.

Basically, in Japanese get someone to ask for your age

何歳いですか？(なんさいいですか)

天才です。(てんさいです)

It catches most people off guard but its a pretty good one. Lots of chuckles

13 Likes
#2

Every time I try to speak Japanese, everyone laughs uncontrollably for some reason :joy:

20 Likes
#3

felt.

7 Likes
#4

I totally get it, but felt reminds me of why some people hunt rabbits :rofl:

2 Likes
#5

Every time we go to a shrine or a mountain hike and we pass a bunch of the little stone guys I hit them with “お地蔵様でした”

It’s been hit or miss, but I think it’s hilarious

7 Likes
#6

Also there’s the classic:
“みて”
“何？”
“足何本ですか？”
“2本？”
“だから日本人です”

8 Likes
#7

Yea I thought that was pretty good, and so did some kids. Thats a great one.

1 Like
#8

I was once engaged in some pillow talk with an English speaking Japanese girl. While we were whispering sweet nothings to each other and smiling like giddy fools she said something I thought was quite witty and a little humorous. Not quite enough to make me burst into laughter, but funny enough for me to want to acknowledge it. The best my drunk behind could come up with at the time was to look her dead in the eye and tap each of my upper incisors one at a time while saying 歯 (tap) 歯 (tap) 歯 (tap) 歯 (tap)

I have never seen the attraction leave someone’s face quite as spectacularly as I did that day.

7 Likes
#9

Not one I invented but I think this thread will appreciate:

今朝毎朝

10 Likes
#10

not sure if I get it, but is this an accurate visual representation?

96d0361b-b8d2-412a-b9c2-83f75c15bf28
96d0361b-b8d2-412a-b9c2-83f75c15bf28640×640 45.6 KB

4 Likes
#11

I was eating, read that and didnt understand it at first, Then when it registered I nearly choked on my food. Thats funny as fuck.

I dont quite understand the joke here, can you explain it?

4 Likes
#12

Lol was this in reference to my 駄洒落? If so I’m glad you enjoyed it.

try reading it in an almost insultingly stereotypical Italian accent and then remember the three letter word which could mean donkey. I think that should get you there.

2 Likes
#13

This barely counts as a joke, but

泥棒に一番好きな野菜は何でしょうか？ヌスビです

(“What’s a thief’s favorite vegetable? A yoinkplant.” )

For a real joke (not mine):

男と新幹線の共通点はなんでしょう？エキを飛ばすこと.

2 Likes
#14

this reminds me of a clip out of some stream of a Japanese woman learning German and some viewer got her to repeatedly say ほうれん草, which in German happens to sound very rude. I don’t know the streamer but the clip became quite popular

E:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/EYwAYfyrxpY

2 Likes
#15

This one seemed to be well recieved. I also had a funny experience where the similarity between 人混み and 人ゴミ occurred to me, and then shortly after I watched the movie Baby Assassins, and there was a scene in it making fun of a character about how that joke is completely hackneyed but he’d think it was really clever.

1 Like
#16

At work people know I’m taking the JLPT this weekend. I’ve tried (and only once successfully) to pull off this.

日本語能力試験取りますよね？
はい、取ります。
何級？
3級。
3級？
どもありがとう。

I don’t think I’ve ever felt as good as I did in that moment.

Another time my boss was proding my stomach because of how I was leaning, and I said
セクハラ！！
And he instantly replied,
違うよ、セクシー腹

It wasn’t my joke, but I thought it was worth sharing too.

8 Likes
#17

Damnit I already passed the N3. I won’t be able to steal that one! That is pretty damn funny

1 Like
#18

自分で作ったやつ今覚えてないけど、あれは一番好きなジョークである

今自分でやってみたい、あれ)

3 Likes
#19

I’ve got a buddy who works at an aquarium and he specifically works with tiny octopuses. He whipped out this ダジャレ on me a little while ago.

友とも：タコの好すきな数すう字じは何なんですか？

僕ぼく：8はち？8はっ本ぽんあるから？

友とも：違ちがうよ。吸きゅう盤ばんです

I legit still laugh about it :laughing:

5 Likes
#20

OMG Yes!!! This is the exact short I got it from :joy: Freakin’ cinema

4 Likes