October 4th
Text :
新陳代謝が正常に行われるよう体液の状態を維持したり、消化や吸収など機能を助けます。
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Yesterday's Translation
If I want you to miss an opportunity, go buy a '96 Air Max!
I translated how the grammar looks to me but it doesn’t make a lot of sense. Guess I’ll go check the translation now since I’m late. 
EDIT - Wow キューロク got me. Couldn’t figure it out so I thought it was 九 and 六.
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...
That will do things like improve the condition of body fluids(?) to their ordinary state and aid in digestion.
I have no idea what I’m looking at, but I’ve been getting a good laugh pretending it’s essential oils the whole time.
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This makes a lot more sense and is probably correct!
Edit - Changed the pic to reflect 九六 
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I think it might be. 
I was thinking it was car related but looks like they’re Nikes!
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Yep, definitely Nike’s. Strange, can’t view that link (might be because I’m in Japan, but still strange)
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Translation
Normal metabolism is practiced by maintaining the condition of body fluids, and it can help with the function of digestion, absorption, etc.
The first part of this sentence is considerably harder (for me) than other days. I’m a little tripped up about the 行われるよう part.
Also apparently I reply to you too much @Asher. 
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Summary
“To keep the status of body fluids in a normal metabolism, and helps things like digestion and absorption”
Not sure how to work in 行われる
Struggled to understand that one, I’ve got the pieces but not sure how it goes together! These ‘Free for all Translations’ are always a big challange
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Literal Translation
Maintaining the (Internal) Body Environment
新陳代謝が正常に行われるよう
In order to have a normal metabolism,
体液の状態を維持したり、
the condition of body fluids is being maintained
消化や吸収など機能を助けます。
while aiding in functions like digestion, absorption.
We need line 2 & 3 to have metabolism but line 2 & 3 is being done by metabolism?
Who’s doing the line 2 & 3?
Is my translation wrong or just missing some info?
Or is it my english again lol
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Literal translation
I had to search a couple of these words…
Maintaining your body environment
To maintain the condition of your body fluids for normal metabolism and to assist digestion and absorption [amongst other things].
I can’t really think what the context for this would be… is it explaining about a healthy food or something?
眠れなくなるほど面白い
So interesting that you won’t get sleepy 
ダイエットにも健康にも役立つ!
Helpful for [as much as] your diet and your health!
最強の調理法まで徹底解説
We [go as far as to] thoroughly explain about the best way of cooking!
15時のケーキより21時のフルーツの方が太る!?
You put on more weight if you eat fruit at 9pm, than you do if you eat cake at 3pm?!
ごまはすらないと健康効果はゼロ!?
If you don’t have sesame seeds, then there is no impact on your health!?
トクホ"を摂れば、健康になる?"
If is good for your health if you take Tokuho (I don’t know what that is but judging by the picture it’s a health drink).
Summary
You only have to read this magazine and you’ll be thin and beautiful and have a super fun and happy lifestyle. Don’t read it and you’ll be a fat sweaty pig like Matt.
Whereas I just text him on Saturday nights when I’ve had a few too many to drink
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Translation
体内の環境を維持する : preserving your inner environment
新陳代謝が正常に行われるよう体液の状態を維持したり、消化や吸収など機能を助けます。: It (?) maintains a good condition of the inner fluids that makes the metabolism function normally, or facilitates your digestive and absorptive capacities, for instance.
Not sure about this よう. Is it supposed to mean “in order to” (but then I would expect the particle に) or is it a suffix which means “a way to” (but then shouldn’t it be preceded by the stem of the verb?) or something else?
図解 : illustration
眠れなくなるほど面白い : interesting to the point you will not be able to sleep
栄養素の話 : tales of nutrient
15時のケーキょり21時のフルーッのほうが太る!? : the 9 p.m. fruits makes me fatter thant the 3 p.m. cookie!?
〝トクホ”を摂れぱ、健康になる? : taking “designated health food” makes healthy?
ごまはすらないと健康効果はゼロ!? : unpolished sesame seeds have zero health benefits!? (not sure about すらない)
ダイエットにも健康にも役立つ! : diet also benefits your health!
最強の調理法まで徹底解説! : comprehensive explanations of the best cooking practices!
Use cases' translation
@s1212z 昨日一緒に話したのについて考えてほしいです。
I want you to think about what we talked about yesterday.
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Ooof, this one has me a bit stumped, I feel like I'm missing something obvious, don't have too much time to analyse sadly, busy day --'
Helps maintain state of normalcy for metabolism and bodily fluids, helps with digestion and absorption.
This is the translation that makes most sense to me, but I really feel like I’m missing something… Might return after work tonight for a second attempt 
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...
How your body stays healthy
Digestion, absorption, and other functions help to keep body fluids renewal to be done properly and so on.
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Summary
Our metabolism helps perform things like normal bodily fluid maintenance, digestion, and absorption functions.
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October 4th Translation
Notes :
While 正常に行われるよう ends up having a bit of a convoluted meaning in this passage, in English it would probably be rephrased as ‘homeostasis’ (everything taking place normally). This is another passage where finding the 主語（新陳代謝） and 述語（助けます）before anything else, will help to find who is doing what.
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October 5th
上で
Text :
その上で改めて友達にって正直な気持ちを伝え…
Note :
This one is a bit tricky, as it has a few ‘half finished’ thoughts. Let’s see if we can piece together what this person is thinking.
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T
Tell your friend your honest feelings again after that …
Questions
-
Is [その上で] just 1 word here? (Furthermore)
or is it [その＋上で]？（After that） -
What’s [って] for?
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Answers
その上 is often thought of as just one word, due to it’s very common usage, but at it’s core it is 2 words.
その 連体詞 (rentaishi) (will always be connected to another word)
上 名詞, 非自立, 副詞可能 (meishi)
Sometimes it is Furthermore/In addition, sometimes it is Upon that/After that. In essence they are the same thing, and just mean ‘(B) going on from/off of (A)’.
For the って, here’s a hint. There is a verb missing after 友達に
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Translation
In addition, I will tell my friends my honest thoughts again.
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Summary
“Whereupon I will convey my honest feelings to my friends once again”
post edit
I felt the って was a ‘quote’ particle but wasn’t sure how it would change what I thought it was saying anyway, so just kind of ignored it. Could be missing something completely, particularly depending what the mystery missing verb is Asher mentioned
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